Lady of Peace 2 - Insight and Inside

I invited her for lunch after class on Tuesday, and around 1.05pm she walked to the cafeteria with a heavy bag, loads of books in her arms and was talking to a friend. It was something concerning CA.

She summed up her conversation with her as quickly as possible and plopped her bag and books on the table I was sitting on. She turned back to look at the queue of people, lining up to form a long centipede of humans, waiting patiently for the food.

"Nah, I'm not going to wait," I thought I sensed some disappointment. "Just wanna have some bread."

I was half way eating my lunch then. I actually bought my lunch earlier in the morning - which frankly qualified to be my breakfast back then - and was eating it half way. I seriously and honestly felt very very bad to continue eating and torture her in such inhumane way.

Half way through our discussion - we were discussing on the transportation problems for CA on Wednesday night - I decided to excuse myself from the table and ran to the counter. I bought a reasonably large packet of butter bread for her and ran back. Seriously, I couldn't bear to watch my partner in Christ starving while working on His business.

I thought, at that very brief moment in time as she saw the bread, a little sparkle in her eyes and a relatively large smile. "Thanks!"

As we finished our discussion by 1.45pm, the crowd was slowly dwindling of and the cafeteria was empty other than for the both of us. I popped a question that I had always wanted to ask.

"Ever felt lonely?"

She looked thoughtful. She was scribbling on her notebook about the itinery for transportation while munching on the bread. Looking up for a short while, she replied, "Sure do, but I keep myself occupied with other things."

"Notice that when your mind is occupied, you don't feel lonely that much?"

Yeah.. pretty true there..

"I read a lot. Do my fair share of the housework and just help around where I could.. wouldn't want my mom to overwork herself, especially when she's already working very very hard.."

I seriously felt then, that what I've written about her in my previous post was just too little and too way off to describe her. Lady of peace, and her traits go way beyond that of reflecting the essence of her true peaceful nature. Her peace, more than just with people, is with herself. Her ability to just wait upon the Lord and be still. The peace that's not from Man, but from God himself.
And with that peace, comes the joy. The joy and the laughter like a little child, the fun and whackiness (again, forgive me for the teenagerese) that ignites interest and dissolves any form of tension in any situation.

Who said she had no problems? Who said she was not going through a hard time?

It's just the way she handles it.

"When my fridge got confiscated, that night I couldn't sleep at all becaue I was just so frustrated. But the next morning when I reflected on the whole thing, I realised that it was really and actually nothing much. No more frustration, no more problem."

It's just the way she looks at the problems. Funny thing, in the jaws of problems and crisises how she can still smile back at - or into - it. I won't know whether she ever wondered whether the problem would overwhelm her or whether she would never see a solution of the problems she face, but maybe it's the little assurance she has that gives her the peace to smile at the problems she look at.

And the assurance comes from God.

Coming from a home that in Kluang that taught her solitude not loneliness, growing up in a school that thought her about trust and faith, living in a hostel that made her strong in will and in stature, and studying in a college that is always about competition and hostility, she is the epitome of peace. Maybe not in the physical sense of fighting or war, but in issues and areas which require one to be steady and at ease at all times, she's the one that we should all look to for an example.

p/s: She's pretty helpless when it comes to pillow fights though. =D