Needle and Thread

This article marks the probable conclusion to the He-She series which consists of the articles Love in the Fire (December 2006) and When Tears Run Dry (January 2007)


She was watching her cousins play in the living room when her phone started to vibrate. It was the second day of Chinese New Year and it would be no surprise at all if anyone were to call. Opening up her clam shell phone, she gasped as she saw the name that appeared on the screen.

Him.

She left the kids in the room and walked into the dining area. Sitting on a chair, she looked at the screen for a while, both dumbfounded and confused. She wondered whether it would be wise to pick up the phone. She thought, maybe its not him after all. Maybe he’s just miscalling as a prank. After all, after what had happened between the both of them, there just wasn’t much left to talk about.

Remembering the last call he made, she was left to explain all that went throughout the last 2 months to a sceptic who just won’t believe whatever she said. He was just so sarcastic. He snickered and let out a evil laugh during that last call.

“If you’re not going to believe what I just said, then why do you even call?” she said through tears and desperation.

“I called just to make sure you’re fine. That’s part of my job of being a leader.”

“Who made you call then?” she wanted some answers. She won’t believe that he would just call up for no good reasons.

But she never got the answers she wanted. He just frankly shrugged off that question and told her swiftly that he had to prepare for an upcoming test, and after a simple bye he put down the phone.

She was left alone again. Left alone to wonder why he would not believe what she did. To him, she’s a mean and cruel girl who left him after she saw 2 other guys. She was this unloyal and unfaithful person who had no sense of responsibility to her friend’s feelings. All that was about her to him, was the fact that she left him at the time he needed her the most, and that was all about it. That was the fundamental of her argument.

Little did he realised that she was busy and tired throughout that whole month. She never did go out with any of those guys he thought she did. She never went for a movie ever. She went out with her friends from both college and church, but never with any of the guys. She didn’t want to. She did plan for it initially, but later on she just gave them a message saying that she won’t make it, and she didn’t.

Wiping the tears that were on her phone’s screen, she rested her head in her palms. What went wrong? She asked. Why the disbelief? Why the cold shoulder?

She should know by now that a guy will never look at things the same way a girl did. She was confused back then. She was aware that what took place between him and her happened merely over a period of half a year, and it was just too fast. She didn’t want it. She was always known to be a very cautious girl in everything she did, from maths to dressing up to exam questions, and especially where people’s emotions are concerned, she was always on extra guard. She had a nasty experience with boys that have hurt her before – though she was the popular one – and she just would never want to go through another round of hurts again.

And yet, she had no idea how to tell him that she just needed time to back out. She had no heart either. What will he think? What will he say? The price was too great to pay then. Torn between the decision as to whether to tell him that she would rather their relationship to develop slowly over time or to just leave it and let him find out for himself, she decided to go for the latter. Perhaps he won’t be so hurt after he finds out.

Perhaps.

She was totally wrong.

The phone in her hand kept vibrating. At the rate things were going, it didn’t seem that he would put down the phone. She pressed the little green button and raised the phone to her ear.

Trembling in the hands and a shiver in her voice, she asked,

“Hello?”

“Hi there!” the familiar voice that she longed to hear for so long. The type of friendly greeting that was synonymous to him. The warmth in his voice that could immediately diminish all sense of fear and anxiety in any person that he was speaking to. It was a great relief to hear his voice, and no longer did her hands tremble, and her voice lost the shiver immediately.

“How’s Chinese New Year? Enjoying yourself?” the voice from the other side kept rattling away. That’s so him, she said to herself. Her eyes turned moist. Quickly grabbing a tissue near the table, she answered cheerfully too. “Boring! I’ve been watching my cousins playing and drawing for the last few days.”

Then she heard him chuckle. His laughter was always so hearty and so unreserved. Every time he laughed, the whole world would hear it. It was not just loud, it rang in resonance to almost anything nearby.

Are things resolved now Lord?

They talked about almost everything under the sun, from how many ang pau’s they collected to how many mandarins they ate in one day. He told her that his Chinese New Year was all about counter-strike and Maple Story, and she replied that her Chinese New Year was travelling from one place to another and rushing back to college in time. It was a long long time before they both laughed and laughed so much with each other.

And all of a sudden, he went quiet for a while.

“I miss you.”

She tried to sound calm. “I miss you too,” she paused for a while, “as a friend.”

“Let’s start from scratch. Not even from where we left, but from the very beginning.” He proposed. She accepted the proposal more than readily. “And one more thing,” he chipped in. “I believe your story. Back then when I first called you, I didn’t buy it. But now I do. And I still trust you.”

Putting down the phone, she smiled to herself. She smiled the smile she never smiled for the last 2 months. 2 months she placed a mask around her face in front of people and friends, concealing what she held in the deepest and darkest chambers of her heart. Finally that night, she knew for sure that she could take it off and remove it for good. He was no longer an enemy, but he was a new friend. A friend that decided to take that first step in his effort of reconciliation.

She may have slept very well that night, but not him. As he put down the phone and turned to his laptop to continue the game that he was playing, he just couldn’t get his mind off the conversation. He was equally relieved as her, but he knew that behind that call was such a struggle to pick up the phone and call her. Deep in his heart, he wanted the siege to go on. He very well knew that he could last that way with her. He very well knew that the cold shoulder over the last 2 months was nothing to what he had went through with other more bitter enemies.

But he chose to let God have His way in him. He was a leader, and a leader have to put down some pride and dignity at times to do the right thing that was against his principles. His principle was of the Israelis, strictly no negotiation with the enemies. And he wasn’t much prepared to negotiate with her, let alone talk to her to reconcile.

Over the last 2 months, things became clearer and clearer. Slowly he was exposed to the real situation behind the assumptions he made. He thought that she was happy and rejoicing over her fortune of kicking him out for other guys, but she wasn’t. It turned out that she was more ruined than anything for breaking his heart. He thought she was still hanging out with the guys, but he was wrong. He thought that she left him when he needed her the most, but he should’ve known from the start that she was equally in need as he was back then.

And the thought that he dreaded the most dawned upon him. What if I was wrong?

He was.

And he knew what he had to do.

The morning he went back to his hostel, he was getting ready for lectures in a rush. He woke up half an hour later than usual, and he would be missing his bus if he wasn’t down in 5 minutes. Quickly grabbing a t-shirt and with one hand in the shirt, his other hand was pulling up his jeans. Then he noticed something unfamiliar of his jeans.

His jeans had a little hole on the right side. Back during the half week break, his mother stitched it up for him by patching a little blue cloth behind the hole. Though the patch was pretty much noticeable, still it blended into his jeans and made it look so much a part of the jeans. He even thought that it looked nicer with that patch.

Smiling, he knew what that patch meant. Without wasting any more time, he picked up his bag and dashed for the bus just as it was about to leave. Without looking back, he charged towards a new day, knowing that the threading of the needle may hurt, but is essential. Knowing that the patching process will sting, the outcome of it is a beautiful and brand new relationship that will garner even more joy and laughter. With that at the back of his head, he hummed his favourite song onboard as the bus left his hostel for the college.