Scribbles

Questions. Always in my mind. Been bugging me like never before.

I need answers. Sometimes, questions can kill. Kill you out of frustration that you'll not know what the problems truly are, or where are things going wrong, or what is the whole problem with the world towards you. what does the world holds against you? What is it that the world hates about you? What have you done that has offended people so much?

Then just when you think the question is the real problem to you, wait till the answer comes.

Like a piercing arrow or a spear flung through the heart, the answer can devastate you. Stun you in the spot, stupefy you till you're just left dumbfounded, speechless and shocked, all at the same time.

Man was never made to be understood by people. Man are intelligent creatures but never smart enough to reason things out. Man are sensitive where their hearts are concerned, but they never understand what other's are thinking.

I learned this sad truth painfully. That no matter how noble your motives may be, no matter how hard you try to pursue your dreams, there will always be people who will never understand. There will always be other people who not only reject it, but pose as a hindrance to your moving ahead of things.

But it's never a reason good enough to give up.

That thought surely crossed my mind more than once, more than twice, more than thrice. The imagination of how 'easy life would be if I wasn't involved with all this nonsense' could be easily pictured at the back of my mind. The sweetness of having no responsibilities, no late night researchs, no early morning discussions or no one to be accountable to, is something that I've long dreamed of tasting, and yet it will always remain a luxury found only in the deepest dreams of mine.

Still, I'm not giving up.

I once shared with my CA, a screwed-up situation can either break you or make you. Either make you bitter, or better. I'm in a lousy state now, with so much to do in so little time, but guess what? I'm not going to let it make me bitter, neither is it going to break me. A choice I made, and I'm going to stick by it.

Please pray for INTEC's Battle of MiNDS, it's our inaugural premier BP Debating championships. We came such a long way, and there's still a longer way to go. 7th to 9th September, your prayers will make a difference.

Please don't forget my junior debaters in your prayers. They're young and new, fresh with ideas but intimidated by the unknowns. Some have already quit, many are discouraged. They are the reason why I hang on, and they are hanging on a thin line between going on and letting go.

I know I'll survive this period of time, but the outcome of it, largely depends on how I choose to survive this period of time, ultimately changing my story at the end of the day.